Family: stage mom reflections

WARNING:  the following post is a bit sentimental and sappy and brags a bit on my child.  If you don't want to read it, don't.  If you're with me this far, listen on in!

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After months of rehearsals ... many that got in the way of family or personal activities or desires ... THE play opened last night. Dh and the littles were in the audience, along with our favorite priest/chaplain. Opening night was upon us.

A plague of butterflies filled my too-little dinner stomach ... while my heart beat it's own tattooed message:  "don't screw up, don't screw up".  I was restless, nervous, anxious, worried ... I was a stage mama.

You see, this was LegoManiac's first real performance.  True, he's always acted (and acted-up) in the living room or school room.  True, he was a superlative monkey in a version of Magician's Nephew last winter.  But ... this was real theater: admission, costumes, lighting, mics, make-up ... the whole nine yards. 

LegoManiac's role in the musical Mame is a big one -- he gives the first line ... he sings a few solos ... he buzzes the audience on his black heelys ... and he's in every scene but one in the first of the two acts.  Yep, the evening is fraught with opportunities for him to screw-up throughout the almost two hours that he is on stage.

And where's mama?

Watching helplessly from the wings ... opening and closing the curtain ... getting tennis elbow while the butterflies are overproducing in my stomach and my heart continues to pound.  I can't help him with costume changes ... or props ... or get his tail out on stage.  He has to take care of it himself.  He has to be a big boy and focus and emote and ennunciate and slow down and remember the words ... all by himself.  But he's still my little boy ... and I so want to protect him from making a mistake ... from forgetting a line ... from generally just screwing up.  But, I can't protect him forever ... and with this play he gets a chance to practice being "a big boy".

And that boy didn't make any obvious mistakes (actually making one forgotten line into a better, more emotionally-charged bit) ... the audience enjoyed every minute ... and, more importantly, LegoManiac felt good about himself and his fellow cast and crew at the end of the day. (I know this because he and I sat up from midnight till almost 1:30, discussing it all, sipping wine (me)/tea (him) and noshing). 

I love this little boy of 10 ... and when Mame sings "Where's that boy with the bugle" ... it makes me want to cry because it reminds me that he won't be little for too much longer and I'm so thrilled and honored that I can spend this much time with him, experiencing his successes, his failures, his big and little triumphs ... experiencing his life!

Thanks to Mame and all the veteran cast and crew who have helped this stage mama and her little boy learn so much about the great art of acting.  God bless you all.

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OK ... one down, seven more performances to go .... and I'm sure I'll be just as nervous and worried at each one.  But nothing will ever beat the thrill of seeing my little boy ... act like a big boy, doing his best with his God-given talents at opening night November 5, 2009!

My Thinking Spot ... revisited ...

I received a wonderful note from a dear friend (who is now a KNITTER!) about my post yesterday.  Great minds truly do think alike as she has been mulling over much of what I was saying (and left unsaid) in my post.  She forwarded the following from Venerable John Henry Cardinal Newman, written before the age of technology but at a time when the world was being rocked by the industrial revolution:

A Short Road to Perfection -- September 27, 1856

It is the saying of holy men that, if we wish to be perfect, we have nothing more to do than to perform the ordinary duties of the day well.

A short road to perfection--short, not because easy, but because pertinent and intelligible. There are no short ways to perfection, but there are sure ones.

I think this is an instruction which may be of great practical use to persons like ourselves. It is easy to have vague ideas what perfection is, which serve well enough to talk about, when we do not intend to aim at it; but as soon as a person really desires and sets about seeking it himself, he is dissatisfied with anything but what is tangible and clear, and constitutes some sort of direction towards the practice of it.

We must bear in mind what is meant by perfection. It does not mean any extraordinary service, anything out of the way, or especially heroic--not all have the opportunity of heroic acts, of sufferings--but it means what the word perfection ordinarily means. By perfect we mean that which has no flaw in it, that which is complete, that which is consistent, that which is sound--we mean the opposite to imperfect. As we know well what imperfection in religious service means, we know by the contrast what is meant by perfection.

He, then, is perfect who does the work of the day perfectly, and we need not go beyond this to seek for perfection. You need not go out of the round of the day.


I insist on this because I think it will simplify our views, and fix our exertions on a definite aim. If you ask me what you are to do in order to be perfect, I say, first--Do not lie in bed beyond the due time of rising; give your first thoughts to God; make a good visit to the Blessed Sacrament; say the Angelus devoutly; eat and drink to God's glory; say the Rosary well; be recollected; keep out bad thoughts; make your evening meditation well; examine yourself daily; go to bed in good time, and you are already perfect.

Interesting that the good Cardinal's words can still mean so much.  Maybe that's why he's currently a venerable and soon to be beatified?

Thanks, Gwen, for the reminder that it is not just what I do but how and why I do it!

My Thinking Spot ...

St. Peter Canisius (1521-1597)

Today's "Reflections from the Saints" on myCatholic.com (which is the BEST homepage I've used yet!), is a quote from Jesuit St. Peter Canisius ...

If you have too much to do, with God's help you will find time to do it all.

Now this is all well and good as long as what I'm doing is the GOOD!  I tend to "have too much to do" because I get caught up in the minutiae of daily living rather than focusing on the big picture of getting me and mine to Heaven! 

I've been thinking about this alot lately.  Maybe it's because I recently had a birthday ... not a momentous, earth-shattering day (like turning 50 or something), but still a time to look back, reflect and fix what ain't workin'. I've realized just how much of my time is spent in the minutiae ... in the self-serving ... in the muck and mire! 

For instance:  I just recently reactivated my Facebook account as I realize that it is a great way to connect with those far and wide ... friends in Austria ... or Rome ... or Australia ... or even here in the States.  A chance to see and read what we're all doing.  This is all good stuff ...

BUT ...

I spent over an hour this morning just trying to work my way around and trying to add things to my Facebook "profile".  I searched out friends ... and acquaintances ... and fun games to play ... but this is not what I SHOULD have been doing. 

Facebook can be a major time-waster; so too, many of my other online activities.  They are good things, but can lead to overindulgence ... self serving  ... one-upmanish in which I really shouldn't be participating. 

The solution? 

Who knows? 

Cutting back on my online time ... obviously.  Being aware of the "danger signals" and keeping all in perspective ... duh!  Letting the internet and online activities set the schedule for my day ... NO!

So, what have I learned over the last month or so of meditating on all this?

If I have too much to do ... activities that are the good, the true and the beautiful ... with God's help, I will find the time to do it all.  All the other stuff ... too bad! God shows us the way ... it's just that sometimes He has to hit me upside the head to get my attention.

Can I be self-disciplined enough to make a change.  Can I separate the online wheat from the proverbial chaff?  Am I making sense or am I being too Quixotic?